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September 22, 2013
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My touch is electric to her sensitive body.

I run my finger along her collar bone,
she breathes heavy on my hand.

I caress her neck,
her breath catches.

I kiss her,
jolts of pleasure coursing through.

I pulse at every lip bite.
We spark at the touch.
The body's reactions are marvellous from touch.
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:iconspiritduchess:
SpiritDuchess Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013
Perhaps a metaphor would assist where a single word is not enough.

As in the night littered with sparks is an eternity describing that single point. Does that touch remark much like the first scent of a rose or a hornets sting before the pain? Such exquisite concentrates abound


eh, just a thought. Keep up the excellent work.
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:iconjul320:
jul320 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Perhaps. But I was trying to go for depth in the simplicity of a single word.

As in the touch for example, can be surging and powerful,
but be ignored for worth as it is something so commonplace.
As that touch can show the past: when you first saw each 
other, but couldn't embrace, creating a longing. The future:
where your embrace will only grow fonder. It can convey 
emotions of soft love and painful rage and sorrow.

But I like trying out different things, I'll try it out. Thanks :) 
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:iconspiritduchess:
SpiritDuchess Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013
Like I said just a thought. 

I agree with your focus though. Particularly since in poetry the object is to condense and concentrate intent.


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:iconmaxxtoron:
MaxxToron Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Electric...that's a nice word for it. No word I've heard can truly describe the intense pleasure of love, but electric gets close...maybe. 

Excellent poem, mon ami. C'est magnifique. 
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:iconjul320:
jul320 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Words fumble in the dark when it comes to feelings. How does one describe the indescribable. It cannot be taught, or explained, it must be experienced, for it just 'is'. Thank you for the kind words :)
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:iconmaxxtoron:
MaxxToron Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
So much said with so little words. Humanity would be much better off if we all had that gift of your's. 
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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features.
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:iconjul320:
jul320 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks, it's an honour
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:iconbeanieboot:
beanieboot Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
oo gave me shivers
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:iconjul320:
jul320 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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