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Moments of YouFrom the moment I saw you,
I wanted to touch you.
From the moment I touched you,
I wanted to feel you.
From the moment I felt you,
I wanted to taste you.
From the moment I tasted you,
I wanted more.
Then I saw you again,
the same, but different.
From that moment I saw you again,
I wanted you forever.
Weapons of a Femme FataleShe stuns me with her beauty
She intoxicates me with her scent
She makes me hunger for a taste
and electrifies me with a touch.
She drowns me in affection
She kills me when we fight
She buried me with silence
and brings me back with love.
ScarfWhen the days are cold,
I hug you and keep you company.
When the days are hot,
I lay lazily about the house.
When the days are grey, outside and in,
I catch your tears, and let you snuggle into me.
When the first snow falls,
I will be there.
When the last snow melts,
I will await you again.
The Girl In My DreamsThe girl in my dreams comes and goes when she pleases.
Leaves me wanting more of her.
A lovely stranger with golden hair.
A beautiful face, smile, and laugh.
We walk hand in hand.
We gaze adoringly at each other.
We enjoy each others company.
Then I wake up.
Missing my dreams.
Missing that feeling that made me smile.
A gentle smile, as if I was looking at my reason of being.
My whole world. And for that moment she was.
I wish to dream of her again,
even if all she is doing is falling asleep on my shoulder.
But in the end, she was a dream.
I hope to meet her in reality.
And do it all again.
What a wonder that will be.
ElectricMy touch is electric to her sensitive body.
I run my finger along her collar bone,
she breathes heavy on my hand.
I caress her neck,
her breath catches.
I kiss her,
jolts of pleasure coursing through.
I pulse at every lip bite.
We spark at the touch.
PrincessWhen she was born, I stared awestruck, and smiled deeply when her little hand gripped onto my index finger. My little princess was finally in my hands, as my queen lay exhausted on the bed.
Time flew by as she stumbled over her first steps and first words, giggling at these new experiences. Her innocent laugh wafting through the house. It wasn't long after that she was conversing with us in that childish way, and insisting that she wear her blue princess outfit wherever she went. And in my eyes, she was just that, and I treated her as such.
Years passed and she drifted away from me, constantly telling me that I didn't understand, and going through phases as much as she changes clothes. I try to talk to her, but she just locks herself up in her room and plays her music loud enough to drown out the noise of me banging on the door and yelling. This perpetual spiral of chaos and emotions all began when my wife passed away. Eight months without her and our worlds crumble without even a mom
Staring at the BlursI don't know how to put it into words. I get lost even trying; just thinking about it. How I feel at this very moment. I am down. I am sad. I am completely and utterly devastated.
I don't understand why my heart feels like it has broken. I've studied the human body. But what structure, what system, what chemical works to make me feel this way. Why does it exist in us and how do I make it stop?
My throat feels like it has collapsed.
My lungs don't work.
My eyes can't see the good any more.
I feel like I just can't. Can't continue.
Does this mean I will just give up?
It will take time, but I will not give up. I will keep going. I will never stop. I will get up off my ass and walk. Then run. And keep running. Only moving forward.
And I dare not look back.
Makers Of The Cage. Holders Of The Key.Our eyes are the closest thing we have to freedom.
We see endless blue sky, and the stars beyond.
We see the beauty of the world.
We see our reflection in the mirror;
the reality, and the fantasy.
Our eyes see far and great.
But the rest of us cannot follow.
Our hands probe the steel bars around us.
Fumbling in the dark.
Cut by the sharp edges.
The bleeding never stops.
Our feet shuffle around.
Trying to go places.
But we walk in circles.
Our emotions go from red to blue;
orange to green;
yellow to purple,
mixing in a haze.
Our mind goes to dark places,
and only wanders deeper.
Oblivious to the place right next door.
It knows the freedom,
it knows the pit.
There are endless paths to take.
There's a cage we need to break.
There is a key ourselves create.
In our hands, it's never too late.
The Stifling RoomThe late night quiet buzz
rings loud in my ears.
My eyes stare into the dark of my room,
I look at nothing, and think about everything.
My fan blows hot air,
I cannot take it.
Every stifling breath is torture.
I yearn for the chill.
To fill my lungs with the sweet crisp.
I am sapped of my strength as I get up and walk.
Just a few more to the door,
three, two , one.
I turn the knob am I'm out.
stellarhe loved you to the moon and back
but I loved you past Saturn,
swiftly missing the arrows of Orion
and cupping my hands into
the heart of the Milky Way,
running back down the stairway of heaven
with palms full of diamonds and fireflies.
if his love was the light of the moon,
then my love was the glare of the entire galaxy.
Wait For MeWho said it would be easy
Who said it wouldn't be hard
Who said it would be simple
Who said it wouldn't leave scars
What I've got to give you is less than you deserve
But would it make a difference if I promised you the world
Who said it won't be painful
Who said it wouldn't break
Who said it would be perfect
Who said it's a mistake
Words can only say so much before it's hard to breathe
But would you understand me if I said you're all I need
Looking from the outside in
Some things never change
Looking from the inside out
Some things stay the same
I don't know what will happen
When or why or how
I can't see the future
But I can be there for you now
I can't tell you where to go
Because that's up to you
I don't know the road ahead
I can't pretend I do
It's hard for me to say it
And it's harder to believe
But I'll be there beside you
If you will wait for me
...Will you wait for me?
writers filter out their lungs with lighter fluida briny blackthorn boy, i
am rotting, reinfected -
a skeleton's blooming from
underneath my skin; she's
between my collar bones,
she's inside my jaw, she -
she is vile, the way all necromancers are
(but god, am i envious).
The word sticks to my tongue like cotton candy
The sweet, fluffy combination of letters
struggling to embody a correct connotation
And even the dictionary definition seems sugarcoated:
"Fear of imperfection."
Is that what they say when I'm up until 3am,
editing my English paper for the umpteenth time
The tick-tock tick-tock of the clock
promptly proliferating the room
And I just sit there changing good to great,
and peaceful to quiescent,
hoping that my teacher will be drunk in his bungalow
while he grades my chicken-scratch calligraphy
And he’ll see stars instead of how horrid it is
Or is that the word they use,
when I struggle to consume a 25-calorie chunk of chocolate
because I just know it will go straight to my hips,
or when I step on the scale
and watch the black dashes zoom by
like a carousel spinning,
And as the twirling and whirling makes me sick,
I know throwing up still won’t make me thin
And is that the term they mutter
when I'm sob
Is it me - or you?With every beat of your heart,
I can feel mine going numb.
You hold me in your arms,
Yet I cannot feel it.
I am cold,
I can taste your joy and happiness,
Your disbelief that this is really true.
I cannot believe it either.
But not the way you don't,
It makes you happy,
But it makes me sad,
That I cannot feel
Anything at all.
Why is that?
I want to like you.
I do like you.
Maybe not enough...
Your heart keeps beating,
Loud and fast.
And every beat is like a stab
In my heart.
My unfeeling heart...
Tough LoveIf you send me flowers
I'll save them for your grave
and if you write me letters
I'll burn them with no shame
and if you dote on me
I'll pay you back with pain
Oh, my loving baby
do you still want to play my game?
But if you fall
I'll catch you
and if you bleed
I'll bleed dry too
and if you die
I'm sure this much for love will do
wandering thru her wordsI used to like wandering thru her words
it was like wandering thru a wild unkempt garden
on a lazy sunny summer afternoon
and I would collect wildflowers
but heedless of the nettles and thorns
I'd exit tired torn and scratched
and leave the garden poorer for my passing
the only letter I've ever wanted to burni.
if you want to give someone the silent treatment,
the first step is shutting up.
things made much more sense
when I was younger.
I thought there was one path,
each choice a stepping stone upon it.
in reality there are a million roads
intertwined like rope.
I got lost
I chose you.
promises are easily broken.
I knew that,
but it still hurt
spending friday night
shivering in the rain,
choking on cannabis perfume
in a dirt parking lot
your face never graced.
and I hoped against hope
you might appear,
but I wasted my wishing
on ungrateful you.
you died before taking your first breath.
I took a chance
and I should've known better.
you can give somebody all you have
and nothing can stop them from
throwing it away.
you've made this bed,
now lie in it.
you slit this suture,
you're the goddamn reason
I gave up on the month of april,
and soon enough you'll fall on your own blade
like some drunken samurai.
if you want
Ardent Love I met her by the vending machines.
We spoke in breaths…and that’s it.
It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Naked speech, we had nothing to hide.
We painted our names red in the skyline.
And nights we kissed the stars and waved goodbye.
I could have stay there until I died.
Until my heart became coffin nails.
Only she could have made me live like this,
Off of crappy food and TV static.
We made the moon bow down to us.
And the stars worship us.
Could have survived in space
From the air exhaled by the two us
Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
Ever loved something so much it hurt your stomach?
She had me so high; thought I found Jesus.
She rode off in that bus; never saw her again.
Close the book, even fairy-tales ends.
I don’t know why I sank this ghost ship
I guess some secrets you just keep on your lips.
Other you use to touch the stars
Like diamonds you’ve dreamt of fro
Forever UntitledHow is it best to describe a feeling.
A feeling that cannot be translated into words.
How to say I am empty, but still alive,
when everything I try is a shell to my meaning.
How to describe the ringing in my ears,
constant and endless,
and distorting my mind.
The silence in my chest,
hollow and bare.
My tightening gut,
when I'm at my lowest.
The pain at the back of my eye,
when I can't stand to see.
My quivering hand,
threatening to end it all.
And my 'self',
which wants me to live.
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